If you are having a second wedding, then it is your big chance to have the wedding you want. Your first wedding may have been more your Mother’s wedding, than yours. She advised you about what you should do and whom you should invite. Depending on your Mother, that may have been a good or a bad thing. However, now you are older and wiser. You have been married before, so you know the format, and as you are probably paying for it yourself this time, you can decide how you want it done.
The main thing to remember about second weddings is that there are no rules. You make your own rules this time. However, there is one important difference about second weddings – one, or both of you, may have children from your previous marriages. However, we shall come to that later.
What Type Of Wedding To Have?
You can have a large church wedding, with all the trimmings, or go for a much smaller one. You can have a religious ceremony or a non-religious ceremony. Which type you choose may be tempered by your budget and what sort of wedding you had the first time. If your first wedding was not in a church, then you may consider having a church wedding this time. Alternatively, if you had a church wedding, then you may want to have a civil service.
The Same Wedding Venue?
Do not be tempted to use the same wedding venue second time round. Although it may be easy and practical, the venue will carry too many memories from your first wedding. You certainly do not want to be in tears on your wedding day for the wrong reasons. Also, your husband to be might not be too impressed that you are asking him to take part in a carbon copy of your first wedding.
Should You Wear White?
Yes, you can if you want. It rather depends on you. Some brides are pragmatic and just think it is silly to wear white again. After all, the white dress was supposed to symbolise purity (and virginity). But then again how many people are pure first time round nowadays anyway? In other words, it becomes a rather academic point. So, if you want to wear white, then go for it.
However, if it makes you feel uncomfortable bucking tradition, then you could always compromise by wearing ivory – that means you are an experienced bride and not to be meddled with!
Colour and Theme?
Here you could either go for traditional colours and themes – or incorporate some of your own beliefs and causes. For example, if you are now a green person and care strongly about the environment, then you may want to state that in your colours and theme. If you care about whales, then you may want to add some colours and music to reflect that. You are only limited by your own beliefs and imagination.
Should You Invite Your First Ex-Husband?
Unless you have a very good (or very odd) relationship with your ex, then common sense would say no to this one. Even if you have children by your first marriage, it’s your special day and you do not want to feel uncomfortable about it. If your kids really press you to have their Father present, then hopefully you can persuade him to tell the kids he cannot make it. If you do not have a good enough relationship with him to be able to do that, then you should definitely not invite him anyway. You will also have to think about your new husband’s feelings, as well.
What Should You Do With The Children?
You have two choices. Either you have the children at the wedding or leave the children with a friend or relative and get married elsewhere. If you are going to have your children at the wedding, then it would be a good idea to make them feel involved in the planning process and make it fun for them. You can ask their opinions about everything and make them feel it their big day as well as yours. It is also be nice to involve them in the ceremony by making then bridesmaids and pageboys. In this way, they will not feel left out of the proceedings.
Just remember that many second weddings are not just simply a couple getting married – they are about two families coming together. So, anything you can do to assist this process will pay dividends in the years to come.